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Calming the Nervous System: Why Montessori Works for Anxious Children

06 November, 2025, By Teva Smith

How prepared adults, mixed-age communities, and purposeful materials lower stress and
build resilience – by Veronica Burbano – Oct 29, 2025

Childhood anxiety is rising, but the solution doesn’t have to be more pressure or programs.
Montessori works as a natural buffer because it meets three fundamental needs backed by
research: co-regulation from a responsive adult, social safety through mixed-age peers,
and a predictable environment that builds executive functions.

Anxiety often looks like avoidance, perfectionism, difficulty with transitions, or emotional
overwhelm. Montessori is not a “treatment,” yet its design is therapeutic: it offers safety,
agency, and mastery through a prepared adult, a mixed-age community, and a scientifically
prepared environment. Together, these three elements reduce uncertainty, normalize
effort, and strengthen the brain systems that help children manage stress.

Pillar 1: The Prepared Adult — Calm, Responsive, Scientific
In Montessori, the adult is a careful observer and a steady emotional anchor. More coach
than commander.

  • Observation and co-regulation
    • Claim: A calm, attuned adult helps children regulate their nervous systems, which reduces anxiety.
    • Why it matters: Through ongoing observation, predictable routines, and a grounded tone, Montessori adults provide co-regulation that children gradually internalise as self-regulation.

“Sensitive, responsive caregiving supports the development of self-regulation by
providing external regulation of arousal and affect, which gradually becomes
internalised.” (Morris et al., 2007)

  • Just-right challenge (scaffolding)
    • Claim: Observation allows the adult to match support to the child’s current level, preventing overwhelm.
    • Why it matters: The guide offers precise, brief presentations and then steps back, allowing the child to practice at their own pace—an antidote to performance anxiety.

“Effective scaffolding requires a sensitive diagnosis of the learner’s current
understanding and the provision of contingent support.” (Van de Pol, Volman, &
Beishuizen, 2010)

  • Protecting concentration
    • Why it matters: Non-intrusive presence communicates safety and
      respect; the child’s attention deepens, and anxiety often eases as
      mastery grows.

“As soon as concentration has begun, act as if the child does not exist.” —Maria
Montessori (The Absorbent Mind, p. 255)

Pillar 2: The Mixed-Age Community — Natural Scaffolding and Social Safety
Montessori classrooms span roughly three years. This structure reduces comparison and
competition while providing organic mentorship.

  • Peer modelling and vicarious learning
    • Claim: Watching more experienced peers reduces fear of failure and normalises effort.
    • Why it matters: Mixed ages multiply authentic models. Younger children see
      the path forward; older children consolidate learning through leadership.

“Observational learning allows children to acquire new behaviours and strategies
through exposure to more competent peers.” (Bandura, 1977)

  • Peer support buffers stress
    • Claim: Supportive peer relationships reduce stress responses linked to
      anxiety.
    • Why it matters: Assistance doesn’t only come from adults. Peers offer
      guidance, repeat demonstrations, and normalise both mistakes and
      perseverance.

“Supportive peer relationships buffer the physiological and psychological impact of
stressors in childhood.” (Bowes et al., 2010)

Pillar 3: The Prepared Physical Environment — Order, Autonomy, and Executive Functions
Montessori environments are intentionally designed to build executive functions (EF)—
attention, working memory, planning, and inhibitory control—key capacities for managing
anxiety.

  • Order and predictability
    • Claim: Clear order and routines reduce uncertainty, a driver of anxiety.
    • Why it matters: Everything has a place and a purpose. Visual clarity and
      consistent routines lower cognitive load so children can focus and feel safe.

“A predictable, structured environment decreases uncertainty and cognitive load,
facilitating self-regulation.” (Evans & Wachs, 2010)

  • Control of error (built-in feedback)
    • Claim: Materials that reveal errors intrinsically turn mistakes into information, not threats.
    • Why it matters: Children self-correct without fear of judgment; anxiety
      around mistakes decreases and resilience grows.

“When feedback is inherent to the task, errors are informative rather than evaluative,
supporting persistence and self-correction.” (Hattie & Timperley, 2007)

  • Strengthening executive function
    • Claim: Purposeful, sequenced activities strengthen EF, which helps regulate anxiety.
    • Why it matters: Montessori’s concrete-to-abstract progression builds EF
      gradually, avoiding abrupt difficulty spikes that can overwhelm anxious
      learners.

“Executive functions can be enhanced through repeated practice embedded in goal-
directed activities that require inhibition, working memory, and cognitive flexibility.” (Diamond & Lee, 2011)

  • Evidence specific to Montessori:
    • Why it matters: Peer-reviewed evidence connects Montessori with stronger
      EF—the same skills children use to manage worry and stress.

“Children in Montessori classrooms showed superior executive function, particularly among lower-income children.” (Lillard & Else-Quest, 2006)

  • Emotional climate and stress physiology
    • Claim: Emotionally supportive, predictable classrooms reduce physiological
      stress.
    • Why it matters: A calm adult and orderly environment doesn’t just feel good;
      they are a measurable buffer against stress.

“Classroom emotional support is associated with lower child cortisol levels,
suggesting reduced stress.” (Harding et al., 2019)

  • Autonomy reduces anxiety
    • Claim: Choice and autonomy support intrinsic motivation and lower anxiety.
    • Why it matters: Freedom within limits—hallmark of Montessori—meets a core psychological need, helping anxious children feel competent and self-directed.

“Autonomy-supportive contexts are linked to lower anxiety and greater intrinsic motivation.” (Ryan & Deci, 2000)

A Day That Heals, Not Hurries
Here’s how these pillars play out in practice:

  • The adult observes, then offers a precise presentation matched to readiness.
  • The child chooses purposeful work, repeats as needed, and receives
    nonjudgmental feedback from the material itself.
  • Peers model, coach, and normalise both effort and error.
  • The environment supports focus, movement, and quiet—without overstimulation.
    The result is a classroom where safety, agency, and mastery are woven into daily life—
    conditions in which anxiety can ease and confidence can grow.
    Practical Tips for Supporting Anxious Children in Montessori
  • Normalise pacing: “You may repeat as many times as you like.” Avoid rushing
    completions.
  • Preview transitions: Use simple time or visual cues; keep routines consistent.
  • Protect concentration: Minimise interruptions; use quiet approaches and proximity.
  • Offer grounded choices: Two or three clear options reduce decision anxiety.
  • Build success ladders: Sequence tasks so each step is attainable and meaningful.
  • Teach self-regulation explicitly: Grace and Courtesy for asking help, taking a break,
    or observing quietly.
  • Partner with families: Share observations and simple home strategies (predictable
    routines, limited choices, calm language).

Closing Thought
Montessori doesn’t “fix” anxiety with a program. It nurtures the conditions—safety,
belonging, autonomy, and mastery—that help anxiety settle. With a prepared adult, a
mixed-age community, and a carefully designed environment, children learn to trust
themselves—and that trust is the foundation of lifelong resilience.

“Supportive peer relationships buffer the impact of stressors in childhood.” —Bowes
et al., 2010

References (APA style)

  • Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.
  • Bowes, L., Maughan, B., Caspi, A., Moffitt, T. E., Arseneault, L., et al. (2010). Peer
    relations and adolescent mental health: A systematic review. Journal of Adolescent
    Health, 47(1), 3–13. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2010.04.013
  • Diamond, A., & Lee, K. (2011). Interventions shown to aid executive function
    development in children. Science, 333(6045), 959–
  1. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1204529
  • Evans, G. W., & Wachs, T. D. (2010). Chaos and its influence on children’s
    development. Washington, DC: American Psychological
    Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/12057-000
  • Harding, J. F., Hanno, E. C., Sabol, T. J., Wigdor, E. M., Lord, H., & Yoshikawa, H.
    (2019). Classroom quality and cortisol patterns in early childhood. Developmental
    Psychology, 55(10), 2152–2164. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0000799
  • Hattie, J., & Timperley, H. (2007). The power of feedback. Review of Educational
    Research, 77(1), 81–112. https://doi.org/10.3102/003465430298487
  • Lillard, A. S., & Else-Quest, N. (2006). The early years: Evaluating Montessori
    education. Science, 313(5795), 1893–
  1. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1132362
  • Montessori, M. (1995). The absorbent mind. New York: Henry Holt. (Original work
    published 1949)
  • Morris, A. S., Silk, J. S., Steinberg, L., Myers, S. S., & Robinson, L. R. (2007). The role
    of the family context in the development of emotion regulation. Social
    Development, 16(2), 361–388. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9507.2007.00389.x
  • Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of
    intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist,
    55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
  • Van de Pol, J., Volman, M., & Beishuizen, J. (2010). Scaffolding in teacher–student
    interaction: A decade of research. Educational Psychology Review, 22, 271–
  1. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-010-9127-6

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